Branching out

One of my resolutions for 2012 was to light a fire under my butt and do something with what I've been calling my "mom book." I started writing it years (and years) ago, but somehow life just seemed to keep getting in the way:

• Changed jobs
• Started knitting again
• Said goodbye to one of our dogs (*sniff*)
• Began learning kenpo karate
• Welcomed a new dog into my heart
• Visited my mother and stepfather in California
• Was laid off
• Took up spinning (spinning fiber, that is)
• Started freelance writing and editing
• Provided a variety of support to
• My big bruddah, who went through a painful divorce
• My husband, who had major surgery
• My father, who had a stroke
• My sons, who continued to be a source of delight -- and frustration (of course)

And while all this was going on, I worked on my mom book off and on. Three years ago, on a whim, I decided to participate in National Novel Writing Month. The goal is to write a 50,000 novel in 30 days. It doesn't have to be perfect -- hell, it doesn't even have to be coherent. The purpose of this insane endeavor (insane because it's held in November, always a busy month) is so that you can prove to yourself that you can string together that number of words, relatively painlessly, by getting into a daily writing habit. So far, I've participated in NaNoWriMo in 2009, 2010, and 2011 ... and I won each of those years. Boo-yah!

Early this last December, while I was preening over my most recent NaNo win, my older son said, "Yeah, mom, but how many books have you finished writing?" I sputtered and squirmed, but the fact is that I hadn't finished any of the four ... no, wait, make that six ... books I'd started writing. Whoa.

During the last week of December, I decided that I'd try blogging my mom book. I have bits and pieces of it written, so those posts would be easy. I had chapter heads and subheads, so I had a road map of what still needed to be written. And it wasn't like I'd have to post something every day, right?

So on January 1, 2012, I clicked Publish on my first post on The Blog of Mom. The year stretched ahead of me, and I'm pretty excited to see where it will lead me.

We have a winner!

Wow! It's hard to believe it, but I actually churned out 50,000+ words in 30 days. Not only that, but I did it while dealing with my everyday life, which is chaotic at best. And, on top of it all, I had two rather intense freelance jobs arrive right in the middle of the whole thing.

Well, it just goes to show [me] that if I can write that much while dealing with all that, then I guess I really am a writer.

Yeah, I know. I've been earning my living for the past mumblemumble years as a writer, but I've always had to qualify the "I'm a writer" statement by adding "but not that kind of writer." Now that I've won National Novel Writing Month two years in a row, I can hold my head up and say that, yes, I am that kind of writer.

I hope that you consider NaNo'ing along next November ... or just write whenever you feel like it. I really think that we're all writers -- yes, that kind of writer.

National Novel Writing Month

Day 3 = 4,504 words

It's that time of year again -- National Novel Writing Month -- and for the second year, I'm taking the plunge. Last year's entry centered around a wool mill, and, keeping with that theme, this year's entry will feature a spice mill.

Now the mills I'm basing these stories on actually exist (Greenbank Mill) or existed (the Fell Spice Mill). However, I'm taking liberties with all sorts of things, not the least of which are time and space. It's nice being master of the universe, you know?

I did learn a lesson last year, and that is to keep each day's writing in a separate file. That should make cobbling them all together into a coherent whole so much easier. I've been flailing about with the wool mill story and haven't settled on how I'm going to beat it into submission. I'm under some pressure here because two people have asked to read it. I've chosen to set aside the worries about "this is just so much crap" and instead focus on dealing with what is and quickly turning it into something I might not be thrilled about others reading but at least won't die of embarrassment after I hand it over to them.

NaNoWriMo turns out not to be scary at all. In fact, I'm entranced by the whole experience. I've heard that writers have had characters just show up and take over the story or found the story shooting off in weird, but unplanned, tangents. I'd never experienced either myself until NaNoWriMo.

The whole point is to just write. The pressure of coming up with 50,000 words in just 30 days is supposed to turn off your internal editor, who thinks that everything you write must be deathless prose. It works. Each day when I sit down to "NaNo," I just close my eyes and start writing. This morning I wrote about a thrilling robbery. Yesterday featured an unexpected comedic bit. Of course, on the first day I killed three people and sent one to an asylum.

See how much fun you can have?

It's not to late to set out on your own NaNo adventure...

Just keep writing

Having spent a month working toward a 50,000-word goal, I'm finding it hard to stop.

Rather than fighting it, I'm giving in to what seems to be common sense and setting a new goal: 100,000 words in however many days it takes for me to get there.

I'm still trying to get all my characters to their proper spots for the climax, and they're coming along. However, it's taking some words and some time to get them from their respective point A to point B.

The weather, however, is cooperating beautifully. If there's one thing the weather around here can do, it's whip itself into a frenzy of a thunderstorm. I've lived through quite a few and there were one or two that I wasn't sure I would. So let's just say that I'm going to pull out all the stops and gleefully rain on my own parade.

Editor and Writer for Hire

Love Firefly and Serenity. Most of all, I love Captain Tightpants.

I have temporarily joined the ranks of the laid off.

If I'm to believe the news, the economy is to blame. I have some serious doubts about that, but that's another story.

I say "temporarily" because I have skills -- writing skills, editing skills, word-related skills (but not nun-chaku, bow-hunting, or computer-hacking skills [reference to Napoleon Dynamite, in case I've lost you]). I'm trolling the job and freelance boards for work I'd like to do.

In the meantime, I'll enjoy spending time with SpecialEd, Skimbleshanks, Buddha Boy, Annie, and Loki. I am not, however, enjoying spending time with the mud Loki tracks in every time he comes in the door.

I will not, however, let a little (or a lot of) mud or my being booted from the cube farm damage my calm!

My 15 Minutes of Fame?

This past Saturday I posted my 22nd article at Type-A Mom. (I'm the breastfeeding editor ... er, the editor of the breastfeeding topic, and I post an article every week.)

The article, Snappy Comebacks to Rude Breastfeeding Remarks, was one I was able to write pretty quickly. This is because:

• I didn't have to do any research (and 2 factual errors bear this out).
• It made use of my innate snarkiness.

As I usually do on Monday mornings, I checked the hit counter for my articles. I think it was a fairly respectable number, like 20 or so. Not bad.

I checked again at the end of the day and found that the number had gone up to 99. Wow! I pretty impressive!

I checked my numbers at around 7 Monday night, and they'd raced up up above 200. Now it was getting weird. Only one other article (Top Tips for Increasing Breast Milk Supply) had the big numbers -- up around 450.

When I refreshed my screen, the number had jumped to just over 250. The little hairs on the back of my neck all stood to attention. Time to find out what's going on. (SpecialEd suggested that the hit counter was stuck. I'm no computer genius, but I was pretty sure that it was something else.)

So I wrote to the numero uno Type-A Mom, Kelby:

Ummm, Kelby? I'm trying to keep my cool, but I'm on the verge of completely freaking out. The number of hits on my latest article was at 99 when I left work. As of a couple minutes ago, the number was 254 and climbing as I watch. Are this many people really clicking on it? I mean, I'm flattered and gratified, but I'm also just a bit freaked about it.

How's that for confidence, eh?

It turns out that Kelby had mentioned my article on Twitter and another social networking site. She'll do that from time to time with articles that she thinks will stir up some interest.

Boy howdy! Right now, 8:00 Wednesday evening, the hits are up to 1067.

Hmm. Should I think about quitting my day job? Well ... I can think about it, anyway.

Type Hard, Baby

I am a writer. I wrangle words for a living and have done it for 25 years. Dang ... does that make me old? Nah. In the writing world, you can have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel and still be kicking out the jams with your words.

I've grown beyond feeling embarrassed when I tell people that I'm a writer. It always sounded so pretentious to me.

"Wow! You're really a writer? Have you been published?"

"Um, no. I'm not that kind of writer. What kind am I? Well, I guess you could call me a business writer."

Yeah, I'm a business writer: I'm in the business of writing. I have written more resumes than I care to remember. I've written procedures, manuals, brochures, Web pages, medical and scientific reports, ads and advertorials (what a freakish creature that one was!), newsletters, and on and on. Yeah, I'm a writer.

An acquaintance of mine believes that people in my line of work will be out of work in the not-too-distant future. She believes that all the techies (like chemists, engineers, computer-heads, etc., etc.) are perfectly able to write their own "stuff." She believes that people in my field are really not that different than "the girls in the steno pool." (Anyone remember that phrase? Anyone remember steno pads? Ugh.)

First, my hat is off to the bajillions of overworked, underpaid, and rarely recognized support people out there. They used to be called secretaries, stenographers, data entry personnel, and the like. Hey, those are tough jobs, and anyone who'd argue that point most likely has never had to answer phones, type, make coffee, run errands, and do it all with a smile plastered on his or her face.

OK, I'm getting off track here. So, are my skills unneeded? You tell me.

• When was the last time you read an installation manual or "quick-start" guide and found it easy to understand?
  
  
• When was the last time you heard a coworker say, "I must-a did that" or "That one is my-in" or "Where did you park your car at?" Do any of those statements make you want to do business with the person who said them?
  
  
• What do you think of a sentence like this: "We work hard to insure your satisfaction." Really? Wow! I didn't know that I could take out a policy on my satisfaction. Yeah, baby! Sign me up for that right now!
  
  
• How about this sign, which was in the front window of a well-known nonprofit organization: "Only 29 day's to go." Ouch. I may have pulled something in my brain there.
  
  
• Or this: "Be sure to cut the yellow, red and blue wires only, or you'll die a horrible death." Um ... so are you going to cut three wires (1. yellow, 2. red, 3. blue) or two wires (1. yellow, 2. red and blue)? Are you willing to bet your life on it?
  
  
• Or this: "Common household chemicals must be mixed together, especially if you are cleaning a windowless room." OK, this one is a bit over the top, but if a critical word like "not" is missed in a sentence like this, you can kiss at least a few of your customers goodbye ... forever.

I'm not saying that only English majors can write well or communicate clearly. What I am saying (or writing, if you want to be picky about it) is that communication is important, no matter what business you're in. Most of us don't have time to waste trying to figure out what something means. We won't hang around a Web site that's poorly written or hard to navigate. And we'll definitely think twice before parting with our cash when the person with his hand out can't seem to string together a coherent sentence.

I love what I do, I really do. There's something about crafting sentences that mean exactly what they say and do it clearly, concisely, and with no room for interpretation that gives me an adrenaline rush. Yeah, I'm a word nerd.

I also love helping other people improve their own writing. I'll share every bit of knowledge I have if I think it'll help. Hey, if I could work myself out of a job, I'd do it ... because even if everyone in the world was able to write well, not all of them would have the time to do it for themselves. And that's where I come in.

Illustration by the marvelous Natalie Dee.

Do the Chickens Have Large Talons?

If you’ve seen Napoleon Dynamite, you know that the next line is, “Boy, I don’t understand a word you just said.”

Speaking—and writing—is a waste of breath and ink, respectively, if your audience doesn’t understand what you’re saying. “Know your audience” is one of the cornerstones of effective communications.

Here’s a case in point. I once participated in a workshop for writers who wanted to specialize in writing medical studies. (I wasn’t sure that I particularly wanted to, but my manager made up my mind for me.) During one exercise, each of the small groups was given a paragraph of a published document to deconstruct. After I gave my two cents, I listened to the conversations in the other groups. Here’s what I heard:

“I think what he means is …”

“I’m not sure, but maybe what he’s trying to say is …”

“Hmm. I don’t know what he’s trying to say.”

Now this was a peer-reviewed, published medical article. The instructor was using it to help us understand the deathless prose that we could look forward to writing.

Since I really don’t mind asking questions that some people might think are stupid, I raised my hand, described what I’d overheard, and asked, “Is there a reason why the author wrote this paper in a way that even seasoned professional writers couldn’t understand? Why in the world didn’t he write it so that his meaning was clear and unmistakable?”

After an embarrassed silence, the instructor pretended that I hadn’t spoken and launched into what sounded like a canned speech about the wonders and mysteries of medical writing.

I’d always assumed that PhDs, MDs, and other smarty-pants people who breathe the rarified air would prefer to read documents that are simple (not simple-minded), clear, and straightforward. Oh, well. Silly me.

I think I’ll stick with writing in a way so that the meaning is crystal clear to my audience. I’ll “eschew obfuscation,” thanks.

More Writer's Tools

I give you ... a perfect summer rose.

After spending about a half-hour today chipping away at a 2-inch crust of ice on my driveway, I felt in need of a reminder that we'll soon be feeling the warmth of the sun on our faces, smelling the scent of newly cut grass, and drinking in a riot of color with our eyes. Sigh. Oh, well. For now, I guess I'll have to try to find some sort of beauty in the thousand shades of brown and gray that are the colors of a Delaware winter.

As promised, here are a few more tools to help you improve your writing:

• Use proper outline structure ... there can't be a 1 without a 2 or an A without a B. So if a section only has one subhead, add another one. One of the easiest ways of dealing with this is by adding "Introduction" or "Background" after the main head, before the text. Then your other subhead has a yang to its yin.


• Be consistent ... if you capitalize a word in this section, be sure you capitalize it throughout your document (search/replace is good for this -- just be careful that what you're replacing isn't part of some other word. If your subject is singular, be sure the verb is, too. If your document's heads and body text use particular formatting, be sure that this formatting is used throughout the document.


• Know the differences between hyphens, 1/n dashes, 1/m dashes, slashes, colons, and semicolons so that you can use them to the best effect.


• Incorporate QC into your process sooner rather than later. You don't want to be at the very end of a project only to have someone tell you that a crucial element has been overlooked. (As an aside, I can't tell you how often big, important projects have been brought to me for a final--and only--QC check with instructions to "only check for spelling and grammar problems." I didn't make too many friends when I pointed out errors in logic, incomplete information, or even language that some would find downright offensive.)


• Create a style guide that addresses everthing from acceptable use of your company logo and colors to correct phrasing and punctuation. A style guide can help streamline the work process and help you present a unified voice and appearance to your internal and external audiences.

The Writer's Toolbox

I've been writing, editing, and proofreading for more than 20 years ... and I've been reading for a lot longer than that. I love words and how they're used.

There's an art and a science to wordsmithing. Even if you don't need to write very often, adding a few basic tools to your toolbox will help you sound like the pro you really are.

Here are a few tools you may want to try out for yourself:

• Run spell check every time; however, remember that it isn't infallible. (Take it form me: You will regret it if your rely solely one your spell-checking software.)


• Use the final comma in a series. Yes, I know that simple series don't really seem to need that comma before the "and" or "or," but if you just get into the habit of using it, you won't have to decide if your series is simple or complex. (It sometimes seeems as if writing is full of objective rules, subjective rules, and totally arbitrary decisions.)


• Take the time to construct your document correctly right at the beginning. (That is, in your word-processing program, create styles for your various types of text, use tables instead of using the tab-tab-tab method, and set up tabs where you want them instead of using the tab-tab-tab-space-space-space method.)


• Prune run-on sentences ruthlessly. (It's nice to have sentences of varied lengths and, let's face it, your readers have lots of things to do. Can you really count on them to stick around until you wrap things up?)


• Use parallel structure. (Like to use bulleted lists? Great! Just make sure they all begin with a verb or a noun. My list illustrates this: run, use, take, prune, and use. Making your points parallel emphasizes their connection with each other and their collective connection to your lead-in sentence or phrase.)


• Need help? Just ask! (Just to illustrate ... My brother got a double helping of the math/science gene and I got a double helping of the language/arts gene. Think math comes easily to me? Not so much. I have no problem asking for help figuring out percentages, fractions, and other math problems.)

I'll share a few more points in my next post. Questions? Just let me know, and I'll be happy to help!

3 - 2 - 1 ... We Have Ignition ... and Liftoff!

"The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things ...."

It's time for me to make the leap into the great unknown and launch my own blog. For someone who makes her living with words, I've been pretty slow to jump on the great blog bandwagon. Call it technophobia or a symptom of perfectionism, but until now I just didn't feel like 1) I could actually create a blog and b) I had anything to say.

I hope to share stuff that's worthwhile to someone somewhere -- even if it's just worth a laugh.

So here are my top 5 reasons to blog:

1. Say what needs to be said -- We all have something to say, and with a blog you can say it without being interrupted or ignored. (Well, both may happen, but you won't even know.)
   
2. Every day and in every way, I'm getting better and better ... at writing. Years of writing for corporate clients can really stunt the growth of your creativity -- I don't regret a bit of it, though. I learned a lot from my clients and really enjoyed helping them communicate to others ... I'm grateful for the skills I earned and for the many things I learned.
   
3. Fear factor -- It's OK to be scared about trying something new, but real courage is all about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. Sure you may write something someone may refer to as being stupid, juvenile, or a waste of time, but who cares?
   
4. My turn! -- In a household where 3 people are vying for time on 1 computer, having a blog will give you something tangible to do so that you can tell your fellow competitors that its your turn and you need to work on your blog.
   
5. Fun, fun, fun! Let's face it: Being able to say what you want in your own little arena is loads of fun. And if it becomes a drag, you can always take your time about adding posts or delete your blog altogether.

This was going to be a top-10 list, but I've just been informed that my turn on the computer is over. Talk at you soon!